Sports Vs. Music: Which One Should Win?

We are all pretty busy people these days. And kids are no exceptions. There is no shortage of after school activities out there for them to choose from.

There is so much to take in and try when you are a kid. You want to try everything and see what you like. And you should do as much as you possibly can.

But eventually we all come to the inevitable fork in the road. The truth is no one can do literally everything and at some point you have to make a choice.

I know this is something that parents struggle with a lot. What should you encourage your kids to do? When is it ok to let them quit something even if you think it is important?

The big mistake that many of us make.

I think one of the biggest conflicts we see with music lessons is sports. I have seen many students come and go because their practice and game schedules become too overwhelming. And instead of looking at the big picture, most kids, as well as their parents, choose the sport over music.

I think this is a big mistake.

Don’t get me wrong. I love sports. There is so much that kids learn from being part of a team. They learn discipline, physical fitness, teamwork and so much more. In no way am I saying that your kids should not play sports.

What I am saying is before you make the decision to drop one or the other, it’s important to really think through where that choice will lead.

I think many tend to look at music lessons as a fun hobby. And sure, it is a lot of fun. But it is a lot more than that. It is a life changing experience.

Through music lessons kids learn a lot of things. They learn discipline. They learn the rewards of hard work. They learn to appreciate different cultures. They learn how to open up their minds to new things.

What makes music the best choice?

I think one of the biggest reasons to choose music is that with music kids are learning a highly specialized skill that many don’t possess. This has incredible value. Whether they choose to pursue a career in music or they just want to play music in a band on the weekends, music lessons will give them a unique skill that they can use for the rest of their lives.

I know it’s fun to play baseball. And your kid may be really good at it. But if he doesn’t go to the major leagues, what else can he do with that skill? It may get him a college scholarship, which would be amazing. But then what?

Everyone can play baseball. Not everyone can play the piano.

I know a lot of professional musicians but I don’t know any professional athletes. Maybe that is due to the company I choose to keep, but I think it says a lot more than that. A life in music is a very attainable goal. It’s a real possibility that is achievable through discipline and practice. But a career as an athlete is not nearly as likely to happen.

How do I know this?

I have met so many adults who tell me one of their biggest regrets is that they dropped out of piano lessons when they were young. Almost all of our adult students tell us that this is their story. These are the adults who as kids decided that baseball, basketball or soccer was more important than piano. And now, they don’t play any of those sports anymore. But they do come back for piano lessons because they realize how much they miss it.

Do you have to choose?

At some point, you are going to have to make a choice. But I think there is a third option.

Let your kids do both.

I think it is totally possible for kids to be involved in sports and music. I did it when I was a kid. I played basketball, golf, baseball and track. And at the same time, I was in symphony band, pep band, jazz band, and choir. It is absolutely doable but it will take a little discipline on your part as a parent.

Instead of letting your child do every sport under the sun, have them choose one so you can leave time for the piano lessons. That way they get the best of both worlds and get a fully enriched educational experience.

I promise, when they get older, your kids will thank you for not letting them quit on music before they realized how much of an impact it would have on their life. And that, even more than hearing them fill your home with music over the years, will be the sweetest sound of all.

The Most Important Part Of Your Piano Practice Routine

When we think of musicians, I think a lot of us think of the starving artist. The miserable musician that is suffering for his art. No one understands his genius. He is constantly tormented by those who are better than him, so he puts in absurd hours of practice. It’s the only way to be great.

Then we idolize these people. We put them on a pedestal. And in order to be as great as them, we believe we have to suffer like them.

So we tell ourselves we have to push ourselves harder. We need to reach for perfection to be great. Anything short of perfection is a failure. And failure is not an option.

And so our musical lives begin by committing to all the big principles. Discipline. Perseverance. Consistent practice. Determination. Time. Effort. Blood. Sweat. Tears.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a big fan of all those things. Well, maybe not the blood. I mean, if you are bleeding it is definitely time to take a 10-minute break.

But as important as all these things are, there is one thing that is way more important when it comes to practicing the piano…

You have got to be kind to yourself.

I have seen it time and time again in many of my students. The perfectionist syndrome. We all want to be great at something. And we think the way to become great is to push ourselves harder and harder. We all watch Gary Vaynerchuck videos on YouTube telling us that we are slacking off and so we think the only way to improve is to work harder.

Although hard work does pay off, there is a line that you can cross and once you do, you actually begin to impede your progress.

I am totally a perfectionist. I do it too. I tend to think that in order to be respected, I have to be flawless. I have to be the best. No excuses. But that drive turns into self-loathing really fast. And as soon as I start hating myself for not being good enough, I suddenly lose my motivation to practice. I get down on myself. I lose hope and I see no point in trying anymore. In simple terms, I give up.

If you give up, you will never achieve greatness.

That seems like an obvious point, but the reason I make it is because I want you to see that perfectionism leads to giving up. You may start out with great intentions, but the more you beat yourself up, the more you are setting yourself up to fail. And if you don’t stop yourself from going down that road, it is just a matter of time until you give up. I promise you will.

I don’t want you to give up. I want you to succeed. I want you to achieve your goals with the piano. And the only way you are going to do that is by being kind to yourself. You have to let go of those impossible expectations you keep putting on yourself. You will never achieve perfection. It’s never going to happen. Matter of fact, you can’t get better at something without failing a lot and the piano is no different.

You need to make mistakes.

The mistakes we make while playing the piano are exactly the things that make us better. You need to make mistakes to learn. You need to make a lot of them. Every time you mess up, you shouldn’t yell at yourself expecting perfection. You should smile and be glad you have the opportunity to get better.

Think about it. If you never made a mistake, how would you know how to improve? You wouldn’t. You couldn’t. The mistakes show us new techniques. The mistakes help us fix the small things we are doing wrong. The mistakes make us better. There is no way around it.

So if you know you need to make mistakes to improve, can you learn to be kind to yourself when you make them? I admit it is not always easy. Especially in this culture we live in where we are taught to always work harder and longer. Better. Stronger. Faster.

How to achieve greatness.

We place too much importance on hard work and not enough on giving ourselves a break. In order to be great, we need to have a combination of work ethic and kindness. Kindness is something we need to start practicing, just like our scales. It needs to be a regular part of our practice routine.

As a matter of fact, I think it is the most important element of our practice routine. Without kindness, the whole house of cards will crumble fast. Think of kindness as the foundation for all that you do with music. If you can start from a place of grace, then you can allow yourself to make all the mistakes that you need to make to become the player you want to be.

With a little bit of kindness, it’s just a matter of time until you achieve the greatness you have always dreamed of. And this time you won’t give up before you get there.

What Age Should My Child Start Piano Lessons

We have been addressing many of our Frequently Asked Questions lately through our blog. I have another good one for you today. This is a question we get a lot.

At what age should my child start piano lessons?

I am going to give you a short answer and then a little longer answer. If you want the short answer, here it is: 5 years old

Now, here is the longer answer. It really depends on your child. We have had 3 year old students who do really great. These kids have shown a lot of interest in music from day one. These are the kids who are always banging on the toy drums or going up to the piano and banging the keys. If your kid is one of these kids who does these things without provocation, then it might not be a bad idea to start piano lessons a little younger - say around 3 years old. I wouldn’t go any younger than that.

That being said, it is not a good idea to force your kid to take piano lesson at that young of an age. They are not quite mature enough to understand why they need to practice or do anything the teacher says, so really it is a waste of time and energy if they are not already seeking it out. If this is your child, I would wait until they are a little older.

5 years old is just about the perfect age.

At 5 years old, they are still young enough to learn things extremely quickly, but they are old enough to start to understand why they need to practice. Even though it doesn’t seem like much, 5-year-olds have a lot more patience than 3-year-olds. They are old enough to sit through a full lesson without getting too distracted.

At 5 years old, they are old enough to start to see the value of learning music. They are also old enough to be familiar with some music that they like and your teacher can use this interest to keep the child engaged.

Should you force your child to take lessons if they don’t want to?

This could be a whole other blog post, but since we are having this conversation now I think it’s a good time to address it. Again, I have a short answer and a long answer to this question. The short answer is yes.

The longer answer is still yes, but I want to tell you why. If you have kids, you know their interests change daily. They may be really excited about music one day, but I guarantee that won’t be every day. Piano practice can never compare to watching a movie on Netflix or playing video games. When you sign your kids up for piano lessons, you need to be prepared for some resistance.

A lot of kids won’t know they even like the piano until they have been in lessons for a few years. It takes time to learn the skills to be able to play a more complex song. If you let them quit right away, they will never get there. Plus, there is something that happens to us when we put time into something. We become more and more committed to it the more time we invest in it. This goes for adults and for kids.

I didn’t want to take piano lessons. I wanted to play outside with my friends. I hated having to go to my lessons. But my parents made me stick it out. They encouraged me to practice. And now I play and teach piano for a living. I love music and I can’t imagine my life without it.

I am very thankful to my parents for making me take piano lessons when I was 5. By the time I was 9 or 10 , I really started to love it. Whether your kid is a prodigy waiting to happen or is just exploring what he or she might be interested in, there is no time like the present to get them started.

For most kids, you want to start them around the age of 5 or 6, whether they want to do it or not. Try to explain how fun it will be to be able to play their favorite songs. Once you get them to their lesson and they bond with their teacher, they will start to like it.

When can I let them quit?

And if they just absolutely hate every day of it, give them two years. Make them stick it out for two years. If they still want to quit, then let them. But I need to tell you this first. Almost all of the adult students we teach were the kids whose parents let them quit right away. And they tell us they have regretted it ever since.

So encourage your kids to stick it out. They are learning so many life skills from piano lessons that will serve them for the rest of their lives. It is totally worth it.

And then maybe one day your kid will grow up and write a blog post like this and thank you for making them take piano lessons. How cool would that be?

P.S. Thank you mom and dad. You guys were right!

Love,
Chris